1 00:00:40,970 --> 00:00:41,970 Thank you. 2 00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:15,949 bathroom. 3 00:01:16,090 --> 00:01:17,530 This is your father speaking. 4 00:01:19,190 --> 00:01:21,310 Oh, love, it's like trying to get through to another world. 5 00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:25,710 That was quick. 6 00:01:25,770 --> 00:01:26,770 Have you had a shave? 7 00:01:27,070 --> 00:01:28,170 I haven't had anything. 8 00:01:29,050 --> 00:01:32,190 Sometimes I think it'd be quicker to take a bus down to the barber's. Don't 9 00:01:32,190 --> 00:01:35,770 exaggerate. I'm not exaggerating. The only way I can make dead sure of getting 10 00:01:35,770 --> 00:01:38,030 into that bathroom in the morning is sleeping in the bath. 11 00:01:38,410 --> 00:01:39,610 Any natural, Sid. 12 00:01:40,130 --> 00:01:43,110 Any girl Sally's age tends to monopolize the bathroom. 13 00:01:43,580 --> 00:01:46,980 It's not Sally that's in there. It's that blasted Mao Zedong. 14 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,900 But you know how particular the Chinese are about personal hygiene. 15 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,540 He is not Chinese. He's my son. 16 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,420 And he's been in there for nearly an hour. 17 00:01:58,140 --> 00:02:00,400 He's either retailing it or he's drowned. 18 00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:05,180 What can he find to do in there for an hour? 19 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:06,640 Having the faintest idea. 20 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,660 At least he doesn't sit in the bath playing dive bombers. 21 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,299 Diet bombers? 22 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:18,680 I heard you the other day, trying to sink the sponge with the nail brush. 23 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,820 Just passing the time while I had a soak, I shall. Yes, dear. 24 00:02:23,620 --> 00:02:25,620 He's been in there long enough. I'm going to sort him out. 25 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,040 Oh, be careful, Sid. 26 00:02:27,260 --> 00:02:28,760 Remember, he's fitter than you are. 27 00:02:33,540 --> 00:02:34,940 Will you open this door? 28 00:02:36,540 --> 00:02:37,960 Oh, that way to the bathroom. 29 00:02:39,850 --> 00:02:41,450 I'm waiting for the cross -channel lovercraft. 30 00:02:41,830 --> 00:02:42,830 Mum's upset you? 31 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:43,930 You've upset me. 32 00:02:45,450 --> 00:02:46,269 Go on. 33 00:02:46,270 --> 00:02:47,310 What a mess. 34 00:02:49,150 --> 00:02:50,650 What a mess you left in there. 35 00:02:51,310 --> 00:02:54,130 What you been doing in there? What do you think I've been doing in there? The 36 00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:55,130 mind boggles. 37 00:02:56,050 --> 00:03:02,710 And I was your... When I was your age, I was in and out of there in five 38 00:03:02,710 --> 00:03:05,110 minutes. Quick brush of the teeth, comb through the air, and that was it. 39 00:03:05,470 --> 00:03:07,910 Well, I'm a bit more particular. In any case, I was having a bath. 40 00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:12,000 For nearly an hour? Does it take an hour to have a bath? It does for me. 41 00:03:13,820 --> 00:03:15,620 Oh, blimey, that's heavy, isn't it? Yeah. 42 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:17,380 No wonder you couldn't climb out of the bath. 43 00:03:17,620 --> 00:03:19,280 At least I don't play dive, Bobbitt. 44 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:21,660 Here, here, come here. 45 00:03:22,740 --> 00:03:25,980 Are you using my bath towel? No, you're using the airing cupboard. Thank you. 46 00:03:44,650 --> 00:03:45,650 Oh, no! 47 00:03:45,930 --> 00:03:46,930 Sally! 48 00:03:47,250 --> 00:03:49,050 No, no, no! I'm having a fall! 49 00:03:49,510 --> 00:03:51,550 I wonder what they charged me down at the car wash. 50 00:03:58,270 --> 00:03:59,890 Jean? Just a minute, Fred. 51 00:04:00,630 --> 00:04:02,410 Ten. I'm up to ten. 52 00:04:03,030 --> 00:04:06,290 Congratulations. You're only jealous because you collapsed after three. 53 00:04:06,510 --> 00:04:08,750 I did not collapse. My wheel buckled. 54 00:04:10,330 --> 00:04:11,410 That's your excuse. 55 00:04:12,350 --> 00:04:14,010 Give me a hand with the bed. Never mind about the bed. 56 00:04:14,690 --> 00:04:15,690 Look at that. 57 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:17,630 34, small cup. 58 00:04:18,690 --> 00:04:19,690 It's Sally's. 59 00:04:19,950 --> 00:04:21,269 I didn't think it was yours. 60 00:04:22,690 --> 00:04:24,330 This is nothing to laugh about. 61 00:04:25,430 --> 00:04:27,490 Sally's growing up, or hadn't you noticed? 62 00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:30,090 It's not the growing up I'm worried about. It's the growing out. 63 00:04:30,330 --> 00:04:32,350 Pardon? This bra, it's padded. 64 00:04:32,650 --> 00:04:33,670 Well, what about it? 65 00:04:34,210 --> 00:04:35,210 What about it? 66 00:04:35,350 --> 00:04:38,430 Well, it's a 16 -year -old girl wearing a padded bra for. 67 00:04:38,710 --> 00:04:40,870 To attract 16 -year -old boys. 68 00:04:42,060 --> 00:04:43,940 Now, doesn't anybody in this house talk sense? 69 00:04:44,260 --> 00:04:45,520 What are you worried about? 70 00:04:45,780 --> 00:04:48,980 Our children. That's what I'm worried about. There is nothing wrong with our 71 00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:52,440 children. They're just like any other children. Well, I still think... Excuse 72 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:55,220 me, ma 'am. Just bring you back the hairspray and nail varnish I borrowed. 73 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:56,840 Thanks, ma 'am. 74 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:00,440 Nail varnish? 75 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:05,240 Nail... What's he doing with nail varnish? 76 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,860 He puts it on his medallion. Stops it from getting tarnished. 77 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:10,080 Oh. 78 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,160 What's he put in the air lacquer on then? 79 00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:16,940 I'm very worried about that boy. 80 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:18,300 Not again. 81 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,880 Oh, I wish he was more of a man's man. 82 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:22,800 A man's man? 83 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:24,920 Yeah, well, let's face it. He's not very manly, is he? 84 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:26,660 What are you implying? 85 00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:28,060 I'm not implying anything. 86 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,460 I mean, he never goes into the boozer. 87 00:05:32,180 --> 00:05:33,180 Doesn't like football. 88 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:34,660 Never has a punch -up. 89 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:36,700 He's a pacifist. 90 00:05:37,180 --> 00:05:38,180 That's no excuse. 91 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,540 Tell me, has he ever brought a bird home? 92 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,380 Oh, give him time, Sid. 93 00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:44,960 Time? He's 18. 94 00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:49,900 At his age, he should be at it every night with a different bird. 95 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:53,740 I find your attitude very inconsistent. 96 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:58,460 Not two minutes ago, you were worried sick about Sally trying to attract the 97 00:05:58,460 --> 00:06:01,160 opposite sex, and here you are saying that Mike should have a different girl 98 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,079 every night. 99 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:03,140 Yeah, well, he's a boy, isn't he? 100 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,080 It's different for boys. They can't get into trouble. 101 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:07,980 Oh, I see. 102 00:06:08,740 --> 00:06:10,860 It's all right for our son to be promiscuous. 103 00:06:11,530 --> 00:06:12,530 Of course it is. 104 00:06:13,170 --> 00:06:14,170 It's only natural. 105 00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:16,050 It is not natural. 106 00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:17,790 Of course it's natural. 107 00:06:18,070 --> 00:06:20,230 When I was his age, I had more... Yes, didn't he? 108 00:06:22,910 --> 00:06:24,590 I won't do him any harm or so. 109 00:06:25,110 --> 00:06:28,970 You said I was the first girl you'd ever touched. Yeah, well, you were, darling. 110 00:06:29,210 --> 00:06:32,690 And since... Look, we're not discussing my sex life. We're discussing the son's. 111 00:06:35,370 --> 00:06:37,450 I wonder if I could get him fixed up. 112 00:06:38,610 --> 00:06:39,610 Fixed up? 113 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:41,400 Yeah, we got this new bird at the office. 114 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:42,700 Hot pants, they call her. 115 00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:45,860 Beg your pardon? Angela, Angela. 116 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,040 Hot pants? No, no, Angela, that's what the fellas call her, Angela. They call 117 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,440 her that at the office. Well, I never see her, do I? I'm out on the road most 118 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:53,440 the time, aren't I? 119 00:06:54,420 --> 00:06:56,260 Yes, and he'd do all right, yeah. 120 00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:59,220 I think he should leave Mike to find his own friend. 121 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:01,040 He found his own friend, so look at him. 122 00:07:01,380 --> 00:07:03,620 Cedric and Fred or somebody. 123 00:07:04,220 --> 00:07:05,660 They're in a couple of nights, boys. 124 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,580 That's the trouble, they're boys. 125 00:07:08,380 --> 00:07:11,200 Don't you realise we could have a very serious problem here? 126 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:15,440 There wasn't any problem till you started to worry about it. Well, 127 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,100 got to worry. And after all, I am his father. 128 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:18,839 That's it. 129 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,480 I shall go and have a talk to him. Man to man, father to son. 130 00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:23,400 He wants a bit of straightening up, that's all. 131 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,140 Well, be careful how you do it. 132 00:07:25,380 --> 00:07:28,560 Last time you went to straighten him out, you were on tranquilisers for a 133 00:07:30,060 --> 00:07:32,300 I am going to find out if he's got something on his mind. 134 00:07:32,540 --> 00:07:33,640 Well, if you're going, give him these. 135 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:38,200 Beats! 136 00:07:38,830 --> 00:07:40,810 Don't tell me he's wearing your beads now. 137 00:07:41,070 --> 00:07:43,190 No. I've been wearing his. 138 00:07:51,990 --> 00:07:52,990 Come in. 139 00:07:54,710 --> 00:07:55,710 Oh. 140 00:07:56,050 --> 00:07:59,770 Yes, I... I brought your beads back. 141 00:07:59,970 --> 00:08:00,970 Oh, thanks. 142 00:08:02,890 --> 00:08:08,290 Was there anything else, Dad? Yes, I... I thought we might... 143 00:08:08,540 --> 00:08:09,539 Have a little chat. 144 00:08:09,540 --> 00:08:10,540 About what? 145 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:11,880 Life. Whose life? 146 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:13,280 Oh, anybody's, you know. 147 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:16,840 Life. You're not making very much sense, you know, Dad. 148 00:08:18,140 --> 00:08:22,340 Michael, I am your father and you are my son. 149 00:08:22,580 --> 00:08:26,180 And between a father and his son is a very special relationship. 150 00:08:26,660 --> 00:08:27,660 Father, son. 151 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,200 That's it, yeah. That's it. I knew you'd get it. I knew you'd understand it. 152 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:36,039 Well, if you have any special sort of problems, I would like you to know that 153 00:08:36,039 --> 00:08:37,039 you can come to me. 154 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:37,859 Thanks, Dad. 155 00:08:37,860 --> 00:08:40,100 That's all right. Don't thank me, son. I mean, after all, that's what a father's 156 00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:40,839 for, isn't it? 157 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:44,220 Now then, have you any special problem that you would like to discuss with me? 158 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:45,720 No, I don't think so. 159 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:46,840 You sure? 160 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:50,340 Well, it must be something. I mean, you don't have to hide anything from me. 161 00:08:50,340 --> 00:08:51,340 After all, I am your father. 162 00:08:51,620 --> 00:08:54,020 So you keep saying, Dad. Yes, well, I am, am I? 163 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,500 Am I? Yes, I am. Of course I am. Here, listen. 164 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:58,840 Listen. Is there anything? 165 00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:03,680 Well, as a matter of fact, there is something. I knew it. I knew it. Hang 166 00:09:03,740 --> 00:09:04,740 Just a minute. 167 00:09:07,890 --> 00:09:10,470 Here we are. That is just us two men of the world, right? 168 00:09:11,170 --> 00:09:12,170 What is it? 169 00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:13,510 You did say anything. 170 00:09:13,710 --> 00:09:16,690 Anything, any little thing. I mean, I'm not here to judge. I'm only here to 171 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:19,130 help. What is it? Could you lend me two quid? 172 00:09:21,710 --> 00:09:23,170 Lend you two quid? Is that all? 173 00:09:23,410 --> 00:09:24,490 Well, if you could make it three. 174 00:09:24,770 --> 00:09:28,730 I don't mean that kind of thing, you fool. I mean, that's just not a problem. 175 00:09:28,790 --> 00:09:31,610 Well, it is to me, Dad. I'm broke and I'm supposed to be going out tonight. 176 00:09:31,950 --> 00:09:33,270 Who is? Gene Fletcher. 177 00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,990 Gene Fletcher? I don't think I've met him. No, we met last week at the 178 00:09:35,990 --> 00:09:38,380 Embassy. What were you doing at the American Embassy? 179 00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:39,700 Throwing stones. 180 00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:42,280 I shouldn't have asked. 181 00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,780 Anyway, that's where we met, and Jean didn't know London very well, so I 182 00:09:45,780 --> 00:09:46,820 we'd go out to town and have a nosh. 183 00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:49,400 Jean Fletcher. Yeah, Jean Fletcher. 184 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:51,340 Jean Fletcher, eh? Yeah. 185 00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:56,140 Jean! Yeah. Oh, yes. Well, here, you sure three quid's enough, you can have a 186 00:09:56,140 --> 00:09:59,740 fiver. A fiver? Yes, a fiver. You all right, there? Of course I'm all right. 187 00:09:59,740 --> 00:10:02,060 take a fiver, mate, and get out there and have a ball. 188 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:03,640 You and Jean. 189 00:10:15,820 --> 00:10:17,400 Hoffman on the top of the post office tower. 190 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:21,760 Shall we start again, or would you like a clip around the ear? 191 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,320 We're going to Chislehurst Caves. A gang of us from the club. 192 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,600 Well, take your coat. 193 00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:26,700 I'm not cold, Mum. 194 00:10:26,780 --> 00:10:27,840 Do as you're told. 195 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:29,219 All right. 196 00:10:29,220 --> 00:10:30,940 And another thing, that padded bra. 197 00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:33,560 What about it? Your father doesn't like it. 198 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:34,900 Well, tell him not to wear it. 199 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,420 Sally, your father worries. 200 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,700 What's he worrying about my bra for? 201 00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:45,280 You know how old -fashioned he is. He seems to think you're... 202 00:10:45,890 --> 00:10:47,250 I should be so lucky. 203 00:10:48,390 --> 00:10:50,390 Sally, don't aggravate him. 204 00:10:51,170 --> 00:10:52,710 I'll show him what a flaunt is. 205 00:10:53,670 --> 00:10:54,670 What are you doing? 206 00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,220 Squeezers. Squeezers? 207 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:28,980 I could call the riot tonight. 208 00:11:29,780 --> 00:11:32,140 Oi. Yes, sir? Take them out. 209 00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:35,520 Spoilsport. 210 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,720 I don't think that was very funny. 211 00:11:40,220 --> 00:11:41,220 Your face was. 212 00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:44,040 She was getting too preoccupied with breasts. 213 00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:46,120 Yeah, and we know where she gets that from. 214 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:48,840 What do you mean by that? 215 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:50,080 Never mind. 216 00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:52,600 How'd you get on with Michael? Oh, he's all right. Don't have to worry about 217 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:56,250 him. I haven't even started. He's taking a bird out tonight. Good. 218 00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,870 Somebody called Jean Fletcher. Not so good. 219 00:11:59,070 --> 00:12:00,970 Why? Jean Fletcher's an American. 220 00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:02,310 Oh, that's all right. I'm not prejudiced. 221 00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:05,110 She's a he. 222 00:12:08,490 --> 00:12:09,490 A he. 223 00:12:10,510 --> 00:12:11,530 A male he. 224 00:12:14,310 --> 00:12:15,370 The name's Eugene. 225 00:12:27,210 --> 00:12:28,450 a fiver and told him to have a good time. 226 00:12:31,190 --> 00:12:33,170 I'm going to phone up and straight off to breakfast. 227 00:12:33,890 --> 00:12:35,250 What are you going to say to her? 228 00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:38,190 Angela, dear, could you pop round this evening? 229 00:12:38,790 --> 00:12:40,310 We'd like you to seduce our son. 230 00:12:41,430 --> 00:12:42,430 I won't be so polite. 231 00:12:43,970 --> 00:12:47,990 Why don't you leave the boy alone and stop fussing? Somebody's got to fuss. 232 00:12:48,070 --> 00:12:49,190 while we're on it. 233 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:51,430 Please don't leave those lying about. 234 00:12:52,630 --> 00:12:53,630 What are you talking about? 235 00:12:53,910 --> 00:12:54,910 Your pills. 236 00:12:58,190 --> 00:12:59,550 You know what pills they pill. 237 00:13:00,470 --> 00:13:01,470 They aren't mine. 238 00:13:01,630 --> 00:13:02,930 Well, they're certainly not mine. 239 00:13:04,890 --> 00:13:07,730 Mine are in the dressing table drawer. Oh, don't be ridiculous. Who else in 240 00:13:07,730 --> 00:13:09,010 house could possibly be on a pill? 241 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:41,560 wait till she gets back, that's all. 242 00:13:41,940 --> 00:13:44,540 This week's recipe sounds nice. It's Greek. 243 00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:46,400 Minced meat rolled in vine leaves. 244 00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:48,100 Sixteen years old and on the pill. 245 00:13:49,980 --> 00:13:51,320 Where do you buy vine leaves? 246 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:52,580 Where could she have got them? 247 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,120 I've never seen any in the supermarket. 248 00:13:55,420 --> 00:13:56,420 I should hope not. 249 00:14:08,140 --> 00:14:09,940 What is this, a new herbal contraceptive? 250 00:14:11,460 --> 00:14:14,720 I don't know what you're talking about. I'm discussing stuffed vine leaves. 251 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:17,580 Stuffed vine leaves? What about the vine leaves? What about our daughter? 252 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:19,040 Who, what about her? 253 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:20,720 How can you keep so calm? 254 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:22,240 Who, what about? 255 00:14:22,540 --> 00:14:23,680 What about them? 256 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,080 Followers, boys. 257 00:14:25,860 --> 00:14:27,620 Men, they only take a girl out for one thing. 258 00:14:28,140 --> 00:14:29,140 What thing's that? 259 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,400 Oh, blimey. 260 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,920 You know very well what thing that is. 261 00:14:33,420 --> 00:14:34,580 A bit of the other. 262 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:39,320 Stop being so blooming awkward. 263 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:43,040 You know very well what I mean. A fella only takes a girl out for one reason, 264 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,300 and if he says he doesn't, he's a liar. 265 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,600 Is that why you took me out, Sidney? 266 00:14:47,500 --> 00:14:48,500 Of course not. 267 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:53,660 Liar. The very first time we went out, the very first time you tried it on. 268 00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,660 I never touched you. 269 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,460 No, but it wasn't for the one to try in. 270 00:14:58,460 --> 00:14:59,800 Well, a fat lot of good it did me. 271 00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:02,440 Anyway, we're not talking about us. We're talking about Sally. 272 00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:05,580 Well, Sally knows all about the other, as you put it. 273 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,120 She does? 274 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:10,060 You've marked her card, then? 275 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,920 Didn't need to. She's done it at school. 276 00:15:13,700 --> 00:15:14,700 She what? 277 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,080 They did it in biology. 278 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,600 Human reproduction with illustrated slides. 279 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:22,280 Illustrated slides? 280 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:27,080 Oh, bloody, they're marvellous. All they ever showed us was tadpoles. 281 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,160 Education is a little more advanced today. 282 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:33,400 Yes, isn't it? 283 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,380 I'm surprised I don't make it a subject for GCE. 284 00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:40,740 I can just see them writing in for a job. Yes, sir. I have four O levels. 285 00:15:41,220 --> 00:15:43,260 Maths, English, French and crumpet. 286 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:48,820 Well, I think it's a good thing. 287 00:15:50,180 --> 00:15:53,860 I'd rather Sally found out about sex in a classroom than in the back row of a 288 00:15:53,860 --> 00:15:54,860 cinema. 289 00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:57,260 It's not the lessons I'm worried about. It's the homework. 290 00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:05,360 You change your tune if she should come home with a bun in the oven. 291 00:16:06,820 --> 00:16:09,840 She can't get a bun in the oven. She's on the pill, remember? 292 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,220 Oh, dear. 293 00:16:13,220 --> 00:16:16,320 What's happening to the world? My daughter's on the pill and my son's 294 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:17,320 with a ballet dancer. 295 00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:20,160 Well, there's one thing I can do something about. 296 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:21,580 Where are you going? 297 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:22,600 To phone hot pants. 298 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,220 I think you're making a big mistake, Sid. 299 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,100 It's all right. I'll handle this. Don't worry. 300 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:33,480 That's what I'm worried about. 301 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:37,199 Hello. Thanks. 302 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,200 Angela? 303 00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:41,620 Thank you. 304 00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:44,360 This is Mr. Abbott. 305 00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:48,200 Yes. I wonder if you could do me a big favour and slip round to my house 306 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:49,220 tomorrow morning about 11 o 'clock. 307 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:52,140 Yeah, well, it's rather personal and private. 308 00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,080 I'll tell you when you get here. 309 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:56,600 Oh, that's very nice of you. Thank you very much. Ta -ta. 310 00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:00,140 Well, let's sort that out. 311 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:02,300 Hope you know what you're doing. I do. 312 00:17:02,780 --> 00:17:06,880 Just five minutes of hot pants and you'll forget about ballet dancers for 313 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:08,680 Hello! 314 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,040 Just a minute. 315 00:17:11,020 --> 00:17:12,020 In here, please. 316 00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:14,500 Yes, Daddy, did you want something? 317 00:17:14,780 --> 00:17:15,459 Yes, you. 318 00:17:15,460 --> 00:17:16,760 Sit down, please, next to your mother. 319 00:17:18,619 --> 00:17:21,079 Your father wants to talk to you. What have I done now? 320 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,160 Oh, you found them. 321 00:17:25,619 --> 00:17:27,119 Is that all you can say? 322 00:17:27,319 --> 00:17:27,919 Can I have... 323 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:28,980 You cannot have them back. 324 00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:30,900 They're going straight in the dustbin. 325 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:32,320 Where'd you get them from? 326 00:17:32,500 --> 00:17:33,500 The school clinic. 327 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:38,280 Oh, that's nice. The school clinic. What'll I be dishing out next? 328 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,260 I don't know why you're making such a fuss. 329 00:17:40,500 --> 00:17:43,480 And I don't know why you're behaving like this. Now, now, sit. No, no, Jean. 330 00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:45,140 This has got to be said, and I'm going to say it. 331 00:17:46,340 --> 00:17:49,580 Sal, we have been very good parents to you. 332 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:51,080 You live in a lovely home. 333 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:53,080 You always have everything at the best. 334 00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:54,860 We never forget your birthday. 335 00:17:55,580 --> 00:17:57,260 And this is how you repay it. 336 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:01,600 you behaving like this? Why do you have to take these? 337 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:03,740 Look, for a headache. 338 00:18:04,340 --> 00:18:05,340 Oh. 339 00:18:07,540 --> 00:18:09,280 I've heard them call a few things about headaches. 340 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:11,720 Yes, they're a new kind of aspirin. 341 00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:14,100 Aspirin? 342 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,120 Well done, Sid. 343 00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:17,680 What did you call them for? 344 00:18:18,780 --> 00:18:21,820 Well, I didn't think they were for anything. Did you think they were for 345 00:18:21,820 --> 00:18:22,820 anything? 346 00:18:22,980 --> 00:18:24,800 Can I have them back now? 347 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,000 You can't have them back now. 348 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,350 Oh, you're not. Still going to throw them in the dustbin. No. 349 00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:30,750 I'm going to take them. 350 00:18:35,190 --> 00:18:37,030 How's the super salesman done this week? 351 00:18:37,410 --> 00:18:38,810 Marvellous. Two hundred quid up in last week. 352 00:18:39,010 --> 00:18:41,570 Good. Put a tea in the kitchen when you're ready. 353 00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:42,830 Thank you. 354 00:18:43,430 --> 00:18:44,850 Here we go then. Nine points. 355 00:18:45,230 --> 00:18:48,670 One and four. Two and three. Three and three. Four and two. 356 00:18:49,330 --> 00:18:51,590 Four and two. Four and two. Phone! 357 00:18:51,990 --> 00:18:52,990 Four and two. 358 00:18:53,570 --> 00:18:54,570 Four and two. 359 00:18:55,190 --> 00:18:56,129 Phone's ringing. 360 00:18:56,130 --> 00:18:57,130 Oh no! It's ringing. 361 00:18:57,260 --> 00:18:58,260 Four and two. 362 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,160 Answer it, please, darling. Four and two. 363 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:01,800 Four and two. 364 00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:03,880 Two and four. Oh, God. 365 00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:11,740 Ninepence. One and four. Two and three. Three and three. Four and two. It's for 366 00:19:11,740 --> 00:19:14,100 you. Oh. Well, take a message, please. 367 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:15,440 Oh, right. 368 00:19:17,860 --> 00:19:18,860 Ninepence. 369 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:23,600 One and four. Two and three. Three and three. Four and two. 370 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,780 It was Mr. Harker about his order. Oh, blimey, I did it. 371 00:19:27,620 --> 00:19:28,760 He should have got it yesterday. 372 00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:32,620 500 packets of carbon paper and six swivel -back chairs. 373 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:34,160 What's his trouble? 374 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:35,200 Getting into his office. 375 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:39,920 Eh? They've just delivered six packets of carbons and 500 typist chairs. 376 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:44,340 Oh, blimey, marvellous. You see that bloomin' office? They send you out, you 377 00:19:44,340 --> 00:19:47,040 work yourself to death, you get somebody to get behind a desk, makes a mess of 378 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,540 the old thing. He's got his copy of the invoice, there it is, black and white. 379 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:54,060 Six packets of carbons, five... 500 typist kids. 380 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,360 I'll have a cup of that tea, thank you very much. 381 00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:00,960 Here. That must be Angela. 382 00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:03,800 Now let her in, leave me alone with her for five minutes, and then call Mike. 383 00:20:04,220 --> 00:20:05,220 And don't argue. 384 00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:06,680 Never said a word. 385 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,500 Mrs. Hubbard, I'm Angela. 386 00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:14,740 Oh, good, come in. 387 00:20:16,180 --> 00:20:20,460 You didn't mind me phoning you? Not at all, I'm looking forward to it. Well, 388 00:20:20,460 --> 00:20:21,460 in the living room. 389 00:20:21,610 --> 00:20:25,550 And you know what to do. Leave it all to me. When I finish with him, he won't do 390 00:20:25,550 --> 00:20:27,170 any more fixing up. Give me a coat. 391 00:20:34,110 --> 00:20:35,110 Remember, 392 00:20:38,850 --> 00:20:40,430 dear, you're only acting. 393 00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:45,850 Sid, it's Angela. 394 00:20:46,130 --> 00:20:47,630 Oh, coming, Angela. Hello, Mr Abbott. 395 00:20:47,970 --> 00:20:49,650 Thank you, Mr Abbott. 396 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:59,890 Let's not be formal. We're not at the office. Call me Sid. 397 00:21:00,110 --> 00:21:01,850 Oh, all right, Sid. 398 00:21:02,270 --> 00:21:04,950 I suppose you're wondering why I asked you to come round this morning. You 399 00:21:04,950 --> 00:21:07,150 haven't run out of order books again, have you? 400 00:21:08,150 --> 00:21:10,330 No, this is nothing to do with work, really. 401 00:21:10,590 --> 00:21:14,790 Oh. As a matter of fact, it's personal, really. 402 00:21:15,130 --> 00:21:16,130 Yes, Sid. 403 00:21:16,410 --> 00:21:18,330 I hope you won't take offence. 404 00:21:18,810 --> 00:21:20,970 I could never take offence at you, Sid. 405 00:21:24,130 --> 00:21:25,130 Yes, well... 406 00:21:26,830 --> 00:21:27,990 Not quite sure how to say it. 407 00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:29,870 You don't have to say anything, Sid. 408 00:21:30,210 --> 00:21:32,290 I can see it in your eyes. 409 00:21:32,570 --> 00:21:33,570 Pardon? 410 00:21:33,870 --> 00:21:35,330 You fancy me, don't you? 411 00:21:35,530 --> 00:21:36,049 You what? 412 00:21:36,050 --> 00:21:40,170 I knew it. Now, carry that. I've always been attracted to older men. Now, wait a 413 00:21:40,170 --> 00:21:41,170 minute, please. 414 00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:43,990 Darling. Now, will you shut up? Your gene will hear you. 415 00:21:44,450 --> 00:21:47,090 Don't worry, Sid. I don't expect you to leave your wife. 416 00:21:47,410 --> 00:21:48,870 Thank you very much. That's very nice. 417 00:21:49,090 --> 00:21:52,470 Just as long as you love me, that'll be enough. That's enough. Now, carry that. 418 00:21:52,570 --> 00:21:54,210 Come on. That's enough of that. Come on. 419 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,600 my place? No, you're going to your place. I'm staying here. 420 00:21:58,700 --> 00:22:02,080 Where will I see you again, darling? At the office on Monday morning. 421 00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:04,920 Doesn't it be wonderful? Yeah, it's marvellous. Stand up. 422 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:14,820 Is she in the... She's gone. 423 00:22:15,540 --> 00:22:16,439 Gone? Gone. 424 00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:17,480 Why? Why? 425 00:22:17,820 --> 00:22:18,820 Why is she gone? 426 00:22:18,900 --> 00:22:22,500 Why is she gone? I think your needle's stuck. You must know why she left, eh? 427 00:22:22,890 --> 00:22:25,570 Well, of course I know why she left. I mean, she left because... Is that the 428 00:22:25,570 --> 00:22:26,570 phone? No. 429 00:22:27,670 --> 00:22:30,770 Well, she left because she remembered she had another date. 430 00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:32,950 And I don't feel very well. I'm going to have a lie down. 431 00:22:35,210 --> 00:22:38,430 I don't really think hot pants would have been right for you, dear. 432 00:22:46,610 --> 00:22:48,090 Hello, dear. Feeling better? 433 00:22:48,790 --> 00:22:49,790 Yes, thank you. 434 00:22:51,180 --> 00:22:52,840 It's been a funny sort of a day, hasn't it? 435 00:22:53,380 --> 00:22:54,380 Yes, I think it has. 436 00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:57,660 Where's Darby and Joan? 437 00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:01,160 Sally's gone to the pictures with her girlfriend and Mike's gone to Jean's. 438 00:23:02,820 --> 00:23:03,820 Jean's? The ballet dancer? 439 00:23:04,260 --> 00:23:06,220 Yes, they're going to a concert, all four of them. 440 00:23:07,020 --> 00:23:08,020 Four of them? 441 00:23:08,060 --> 00:23:10,060 How many ballet dancers is he knocking about with? 442 00:23:11,260 --> 00:23:12,700 He isn't knocking about with any. 443 00:23:13,120 --> 00:23:15,020 Mike and Jean are taking a couple of girls. 444 00:23:16,140 --> 00:23:17,140 Girls? 445 00:23:17,220 --> 00:23:18,220 Girl, girl? 446 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,080 Nurses? 447 00:23:22,380 --> 00:23:23,440 Oh, well, 448 00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:27,520 he'll be all right there. He'll definitely get his... Sidney. 449 00:23:28,380 --> 00:23:29,380 Yes. 450 00:23:30,940 --> 00:23:33,720 Well, you can relax now. Nothing else to worry about. 451 00:23:34,900 --> 00:23:36,040 Well, there is one thing. 452 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:37,640 What? 453 00:23:38,620 --> 00:23:39,620 Angela. 454 00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:40,900 What about Angela? 455 00:23:41,380 --> 00:23:44,260 Well, you're never going to believe this, and I don't want you to get upset 456 00:23:44,260 --> 00:23:47,860 about it, because I have never laid a finger on a girl. I've never given her 457 00:23:47,860 --> 00:23:49,020 kind of encouragement at all. 458 00:23:49,420 --> 00:23:50,640 You trying to tell me something? 459 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:54,740 Angela is madly in love with me. 460 00:23:57,360 --> 00:23:58,360 Get away. 461 00:23:58,980 --> 00:24:01,500 Well, we're going to have a shocking problem here, you know that? 462 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:05,660 Of course, some girls can't help it. You know, they go for us older men. 463 00:24:06,140 --> 00:24:10,160 Well, I mean, we're more mature, you see, and more experienced. 464 00:24:10,380 --> 00:24:12,680 Well, some of us are, you know. 465 00:24:14,180 --> 00:24:17,700 And then the nurses, they're going out with us. 466 00:24:18,260 --> 00:24:19,260 Yes. 467 00:24:19,740 --> 00:24:21,760 Well, I hope they know what they're doing, because I must assure Mike does. 468 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,620 Did he have illustrated slides at school? 469 00:24:24,980 --> 00:24:26,180 Oh, come to bed. 470 00:24:26,580 --> 00:24:29,300 No, no, no, I think I'll just stay up and wait for him to get up. I think we 471 00:24:29,300 --> 00:24:30,300 ought to have a little chat. 472 00:24:49,539 --> 00:24:52,340 Thank you.